Dear Etiquette Lady,
In the wake of people learning to have better Office Etiquette, how do you tell a co-worker that she needs to tone it down (volume) inside the office, after everyone has told her several times? (It actually hurts our ears when she calls or we answer the phone from her).
Ears are Ringing
Dear Ears are Ringing
It’s really refreshing to know that you and you coworkers are concerned with Etiquette in the office. It’s really easy to become overly relaxed and forget to use proper behavior in the workplace. So I commend you for wanting to take the take the high road and try deal with your coworker in a polite manner.
First you'd want to determine whether or not your loud coworker has REALLY been told of her annoyance. If there is a discrete way you can learn without this turning into office gossip), try to find out if she was told straight forward or if the message is usually told in some sort of joking or laughing manner. When you approach someone jokingly they’ll usually respond in the same manner. Second, your coworker may be having hearing problems that have not yet been discovered. Sometimes people can develop hear problems and never know and the only evidence of it may be talking very loud.
More often than not most people do not like to confront or hurt others so they have a tendency to kind of skirt the issue and not be very frank with what they need to say. If you find that this may be the case in your office then someone (the person who can speak with the most honesty and tack) should tell this young lady exactly how she is affecting the work environment.
Your coworker may not know how seriously she is effecting others and it’s important that she learns of this and is allowed time to correct the behavior before you all do anything further.
Here is s couple of tips to help you get through the moment:
DO NOT pull her to the side and tell during work hours. Being confronted can be very embarrassing especially if you know that that an entire group of people feel the same way about something you’re doing. The worst thing is to have to return the office form a back room and feeling as if everyone is in on the whole thing and now you have to get through the rest of the day.
Set up a coffee date or something after work hours. This way the threat of being singled out is lessoned.
Start of with a compliment or encourage Example: “Sandy you really are doing a great job in sending your reports in on time, it's really helped keep us right on schedule"
Tell her politely what your concern is then allow her to respond and then LISTEN to her response. You just might learn something new about her.
Try not to sound accusing, fed up or annoyed, confronting, or aggressive.
Keep your statement short and sweet and to the point yet make her feel as if you are truly concerned for her well being: (Because you should be)"Sandy, I asked you out today for a specific reason. Several of us are really concerned about you. When you talk on the telephone your tone is extremely loud, so loud to where it hurts our ears. I’m not sure if it’s really been made really clear to you but it’s really become bothersome. I think it’s important that you know so that maybe you can tone it tone a bit. Or maybe you feel as if you’re speaking quietly and you don’t realize how loud you actually are. I just learned that sometimes people can develop hearing problems and never know and the only evidence of it may be talking very loud.” (You are not telling a lie Vickie, because I just told you this in my first paragraph). “Sandy, do you feel as if you are talking loud at all?”
Allow her to respond. Then LISTEN to her response, you just might learn something new about her.
DO NOT argue with her if she responds negatively. Cut the conversation short, thank her for her time and politely ask her to really consider the things you shared with her. Let her know you all care about her well-being.
Allow time for things to seep in with her. Her initial response may not be favorable but you taking time out to share with her will speak loudly about your concerns. Give her time to correct the behavior.
If the behavior continues and it is negatively affecting the work environment, then talk with your supervisor or HR person. Allow them to take it from there.
If the behavior stops then PLEASE be sure that you all acknowledge her efforts and do something nice for her.
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